The Ruddy Organisation for Freedom and Liberty (ROFL) today announced that it would step up its campaign to prevent further mass slaughter of Ruddy Ducks. Earlier today we talked to a spokesman for the organisation who refused to give his real name but asked us to call him Lee.
Just because the randy little buggers can't keep their cocks in their feathers and are shagging anything that swims shouldn’t make them targets. We don’t cull politicians and sportsmen do we?
So far we’ve concentrated on spamming local forums with Ruddy Duck stories but we’re stepping up our campaign and we plan to start spray painting Ruddies as other species in the near future. We believe that spraying them as redhead Smew and Red crested Pochard will fool the DEFRA assassins.
We contacted other members of the bird fancying community to get their reaction. John Paulson a top twitcher with a British list of 551 told us:
I think the cull’s a great idea. In fact why not extend it to other species? I think everyone with a British list of over 550 should be allowed to nominate one species to wipe out in the UK. That would fuck over all those new kiddie listers – they're gonna have some major gaps on their list and we’ll have some bullet proof blockers.
I'd chose to wipe out Robins. They’re evil little fuckers who are always impersonating yank thrushes and tasty sibes. I've wasted hours chasing something that looked good only to find out it was a poxy Robin. And with no Robins to fiddle, the RSPB membership is gonna collapse which should mean that Humble woman gets the sack. Win-win I say.
We tried, in a half arsed way, to contact Miss Humble but she was unavailable for comment.
No comments:
Post a Comment